Saving Private Kaiba
by Rach-Chan
Summary: Summary: Well, basically, this is a Kaiba bashing story, even though I love that character to death. Kaiba has always been indifferent to his sexual preference, but what happens when he might be gay? No hardcore yaoi, because I don't want to gross out my
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Yugi-Oh, so leave me alone!

Seto sighed, leaning against the cool wood of his desk. Not only did he have to straighten out his stock portfolio, but now he might be...gay. He'd never thought about it before, never even given it a sideways glance, until now. Why may you ask would a handsome, articulate, and rich young man think he was gay? It was simple, atleast for Kaiba. He'd caught himself staring at Yugi's ass today. Not because the leather was annoyingly shiney, or that it was just hard to ignore because the duelist had really let himself go recently, but because he was interested Kaiba was disgusted. Not only had he found he might be gay, but he might be gay and have a crush on his rival! Today was just not his day.

"SETO! WHERE ARE YOU!" Kaiba sighed again for the umpteenth time today. Now he wouldn't even get his stocks done because his brother was on his way to his room, to annoy the hell out of him till he broke down to one of the younger Kaiba's silly whims. He mumbled a weak 'In here, Mokuba' before banging his head on the desk hard, still stinging from his embarrassing day.

It didn't help that the next day at school Yugi and his friends noticed Seto staring at his ass. The mutt had immediately screamed homo at the top of his lungs. Seto lunged back, slapping his hand over Joey's mouth before anyone could hear his insane rambling.

"Are you nuts, mutt! Shut up!" Joey pulled away from the C.E.O., looking at him like he was Satan himself. "You...you touched me...now I might have...the gay!" Yugi sighed, smiling softly at Kaiba. "Don't worry Kaiba, we can help you with your problem...we can make you straight again..."

Yes, this is really short, and its intended to be that way. Next chapter will be longer, and just because I'm writing this, don't assume I'm not a yaoi fan. Go and read 'Serving Mr.Kaiba' and 'The Things You'll Do For Love' and then try telling me I'm not a yaoi writer. Flames are welcome, although, because I use them to warm the area around my computer, which is always cold.


	2. Chapter 2

Second chapter, everyone! Oh, and I didn't give any credit to my kind of co-author, my good friend Kyhan, who is helping me with a couple of the jokes in here, and also gave me the title for the story. (Waves) Anyway, like last time, I don't own Yugi-Oh, so please, don't attempt to sue me, you don't stand to gain much!

Seto blinked, staring at Joey in disbelief. "Wheeler...how in the hell do you make someone straight again?" The blonde smirked, his brown eyes narrowed to small slits.

"Oh, Kaiba...silly, silly Kaiba...You know little of what you speak..." Yugi said as he grinned. "Everyone is born straight, but sometimes, a little gay fairy will get into their head, and tell them its right to date the same sex." This only made the C.E.O. back slowly away from the group, and his eyes widened.

"What is wrong with you people! What's so wrong with being gay?" Tristan, Joey, and Yugi all hissed, like vampires exposed to the light.

"What's wrong with it! What's wrong with it! I'll tell ya what's wrong with it!" Joey said dramatically as he stood. "See Mai over there? Shes a girl. Boys go with girls. Its only right!" Tristan made a face, and shook his head.

"Mai isn't a good example of a girl, Joey. I mean, who would hit that!" The brunette asked as he stuck out his tounge.

"Oh, come on Tristan! Her rack is bigger than Yugi!" Kaiba rolled his eyes. If being a sexually deprived moron was what being straight was about, he wanted nothing to do with it. Yugi smiled warmly at him, and patted his shoulder.

"Don't worry, Kaiba. We helped Yami...he suffered from the gay too!" The C.E.O. looked over at Yami, who was twitching in his seat, trying not to grope another male. The pharaoh bit his lip, slapping at his left hand as it slowly made its way to Tristan's ass. Now that Joey and Tristan were done fighting, they and Yugi now turned to look at Seto, all of them grinning. He backed away again, almost out of his seat this time, and stared in horror at the group of males.

"You know, for being gay, you sure seem scared of a group of guys, Kaiba..." Tristan said, laughing slightly. The taller boy smirked.

"I guess I have better taste than to go with any of you or your friends, Taylor..." The three boys looked at each other, and nodded.

"You'll pay dearly for that later, Kaiba. When we're 'cleansing you of all homo thoughts'." Joey mumbled as he, Yugi, and Tristan planned. They agreed to meet with the multi-billionaire later at the mall, to take him shopping for straight man clothing, and girl watching.

Kaiba sighed, looking at his watch. Yugi and his homophobe buddies agreed to meet him here 20 minutes ago! He sat on the bench, tapping his foot impatiently.

"Hey Kaiba! Sorry we're late, Joey was...preoccupied, with Mai." He coughed, slapping Joey on the arm. The blonde smiled, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.

"Eh, yeah...We'll let you in on the finer points of that later, money bags..." Kaiba glared, shaking his head.

"So long as your not the one I'm practicing on, Wheeler." He stood, and brushed the imaginary dust off his clothing. "So, where are we going first?" Yugi grinned up at him, and grabbed his shirt sleeve. "We're going to the most masculine shop in the mall, Outdoor Worlds..." Seto let himself be pulled along, dreading his fate slightly as he followed the midget into the grips of straight-ness.

Well, hope you all enjoyed it, and r and r please!


	3. Chapter 3

This, my friends, is the third chapter, and I'm going to address my reviews so far as well. (In newest to oldest order, and if you reviewed twice, you'll get mentioned once, as to save space.)

MOG-Okay, first off, I don't have a problem with gay relationships. I direct you to my bio, where you'll find three yaoi stories. But thank you for the kind review :).

dragonlady222- You like it, you really like it? (Sniffles) Kaiba reacted the way he did in shock, yes, and yes, poor Yami and Kaiba...oh the things that will happen to them...And you put the story on your favorites, I'm touched.

Kyhan- Glenn, I definitely have to thank you for the title and some of the jokes. And you put the story on your favorites, now that is friendship right there. Oh god, I sound like Téa...0o

Darkyami7- Okay, you read the second chapter, correct? And I assume you saw Yugi's little 'explanation'. I think thats all you need to know there :). And its good to here that someone likes my writing style.

Also, I have another announcement. I'm going back to school Thursday, and I'm also getting a part time job after Saturday (I turn 15, and legally I can work part time) so updates might be coming slower, which would be why I'm posting three times in a week. I don't own Yugi-Oh!

Kaiba sighed, sitting on a chair randomly placed in the store, waiting for Yugi and the cronies to come back with his new 'wardrobe'. He glanced over at the clothes and almost gagged. If they expected him to wear plaid flannel and overalls, they were sadly mistaken. Surely enough, Joey came running back, a few plaid shirts in one arm, and a pair of black, baggy jeans in the other.

"Here ya go, Kaiba. Go try these on." The C.E.O. shook his head, and crossed his arms across his chest.

"You are not getting this fabulous body in those tacky clothes!" The blonde gasped, and dropped what he was holding.

"Oh my God, Kaiba! Your already starting to talk like a gay man!" Joey hastily picked up the clothes, also grabbing Kaiba by his arm, and dragging him to the changing rooms. "You need to try on these clothes, and fast! They should help reverse the process of gay a little." He shoved the brunette in, and sat down in his chair. Seto grumbled, pulling on the black jeans, and throwing on a flannel shirt. He walked out, and Joey stood, hand on his chin.

"Hmmm...yep, you look like a man, Kaiba." The multi-billionaire shook his head, glaring down at the offending shirt he was wearing.

"No, I look like a lumberjack on crack...can I change back into my own clothing now?" He heard a low purr from behind Joey, and blinked, seeing Yami, who was looking him up.

"I think you look pretty damn good, Kaiba. But it would be so much better if you weren't clothed..." Joey slapped his hand over Yami's mouth, and sighed.

"Yeah, sure Kaiba. Change back. YUGI! Yami is acting gay again!" He dragged the pharaoh away with him, Yami winking at the now embarrassed Kaiba as he was drug away. He quickly changed, walking as fast as he could to the front of the store. So far, from what he'd seen, he wouldn't be going straight any time soon. He met with Yugi, Yami, Joey and Tristan at the front of the store, all of them standing infront of Yami, so he couldn't see Kaiba and get 'ideas'.

"So, what's next? Going to make me drink beer and lay around in my underwear?" Seto asked sarcastically as they walked towards their next destination, a random skater punk store. Joey shook his head.

"No, not yet anyway, Money Bags. But that is a good idea." Tristan nodded.

"We'll use that later." He added, as they walked into the store. The C.E.O. immediately hated it. Overly loud punk music was playing, and there were all those weird triangle-heart like things on almost everything. Yugi walked up, holding up a pair of black pants, that looked like they'd been purposely ripped, with chains going from one end of the pockets to the other.

"Here, if your not going to be a flannel man, you could try being a skater man." Kaiba took the pants, holding them up to examine them. They weren't too bad, and they weren't plaid. He took them over to the changing room, along with a black tee-shirt Tristan had found that said 'Does It Look Like I Care?' on the front in red.

"You know..." Kaiba said, walking out of the changing rooms, admiring himself in the mirror on the opposite wall. "This isn't half bad. I think I could live with this." The other three guys cheered, and Yugi handed him a pair of skater shoes.

"These are necessary too, if your going to be a skater, Kaiba." The C.E.O. took these too, and put them on.

"Its settled. I'm buying it!" He said, as he walked up to the register, still in the clothes, and payed. Yami, meanwhile, was standing behind him, somehow escaping Joey and Yugi, who were keeping a close eye on him.

"You know, Kaiba, black really is your color." Seto blushed slightly, and nodded.

"Yeah, I guess so..." The pharaoh smirked, and slapped the other boy on the ass.

"Look, I'm not looking to go straight, and I'm pretty sure your not either. After my lighter half and his 'friends' are done with you, meet me at the arcade, that is, if your interested." He walked to the exit, winking once more at the C.E.O. as he made his hasty escape. Kaiba's eyes widened. Yami was his sworn enemy, the pharaoh, the bastard that took his dueling title from him! Was he really considering taking him up on his offer, whatever it happened to be? He blinked. He **_was _**thinking about it, and it'd be good to be away from the straight-ness cult later to sort out what things for himself. And talking to another gay man couldn't hurt, could it?

Oh, Kaiba had no idea how wrong he was...

Well, this chapter seems so long for some reason...0o. Anyway, R and R, and thanks for reading even if you don't!


End file.
